Caught in a Tornado
by RoastyMyToasties
Summary: For fun thing that might be long and might be short.


Tatsumaki was not having the best of days. This morning her hair completely refused to cooperate, denying any attempt to be controlled to the point that she resorted to using her telekinesis to set it in place, to mixed results. She was much better at flinging buildings with her power than arranging her relatively delicate hair, and she had to focus on not making herself bald in her morning routine. And after the ordeal with her hair, Tatsumaki got a message notifying her that some ancient turtle demon from some bumpkin folk story was more tangible than most fairy tales and was making it's way to a more populated area, and only she could respond quick enough and with enough force to stop it before anyone could get hurt. So now she was quickly flying south towards some rural village she'd never heard of to take care of some stupid turtle that probably won't last past the thirty second mark all to save some idiots in the countryside who'll probably think she's thirteen, and to top it all off she could feel her hair getting worse and worse by the second thanks to the wind.

This was most decidedly not her kind of morning.

Zooming over the rolling green hills, Tatsumaki scanned the horizon looking for any signs of an oversized reptile. She saw nothing but the occasional cluster if wooden houses and a couple lonely farmhouses, and besides the gray gravel roads there was nothing besides grass and crops in sight. The coordinates HQ gave her were half an hour old by now, so she'd been spiraling out from them in the sky to try and find where the thing went off to. After a few more minutes of grumbling and vain attempts to keep her hair out of her eyes, she saw what appeared to be a hill take a step, dust clouds shooting up from where it's feet impacted the earth. Seeing as hills really have no business having feet, Tatsumaki turned and shot through the air to block the path of the supposed geological feature. It really did look like a hill, with grass and trees adorning what must be its shell, as well as what appears to be a small shed. Once she lowered herself in front of the beast, Tatsumaki saw what must pass as a head for this thing. It just looked like a big boulder, with a round top and a vague jaw shape on its lower half. It stopped in its tracks and Tatsumaki could only guess she had its attention.

"Where do you think you're going, you overgrown pebble?"

...

...

"Hello-o-o? Tell me you got working rock ears or whatever."

...

Painfully slowly, the rock that must be its head cocked sideways.

...

"Gee, aren't you just a bundle a fun."

...

"O-kayy, well I'm just gonna bring you down, I guess."

...

"Whatever."

Tatsumaki's hands shot up, and a giant boulder glowing green appeared above the turtle hill. She brought down the boulder, giving it downward speed before letting go of it psychically, letting gravity and momentum do the rest. With an ear splitting crack of stone against stone the boulder smashed into the top of the turtle's shell, and with a deep groan the giant beast fell unceremoniously to the ground. It's front right leg was snapped at the halfway joint, and the part that broke off fell to the ground with a booming thud. Tatsumaki put her hands on her hips and gave her signature condescending 'hmmpf,' dissatisfied with the lackluster fight, if you could even call it that. But she saw the turtle's head start moving, and readied her hands again to stop any kind of counterattack.

But the turtle just slowly moved its head over to where its leg was broken. It nudged the shattered piece a few times with the side of its head, then slowly went back to 'look' at Tatsumaki with the same curiosity.

"Was that not enough for you, huh? Maybe I should get a second one and drop it on that stupid face of yours."

...

...

"Thanks for being a complete waste of my time" Tatsumaki said, delivering on her promise to give the turtle an encore. The boulder went smashing down on top of the turtle's head, slamming it into the ground and utterly crushing it. With this, the turtle was still.

"Go back to being a hill, since it's all you're good for apparently."

Tatsumaki was about to start heading back when she heard something move from where she crushed the turtle's head. Floating lower to the ground, she saw a piece of rubble moving up and down, something obviously trying to get out from underneath. Using her powers to clear all of the rubble away from the area, she was surprised when she didn't see anything. She was about to just blame it on her imagination when she noticed that one of the rocks she picked up was moving in midair, tumbling over and over. Letting everything else fall to the ground she brought the thing closer to her so she could see what it was.

It was a tiny turtle, no more than the size of a grown mans fist, completely made out of gray rocks. Well, it looked more like a bunch of pebbles and stones held together in the vague outline of a turtle than the other way around, it's neck and head just being three small stones in a line. It's shell was just a big round rock, and its legs were just made of spare pebbles. Tatsumaki regarded the little thing with curiosity. It was obviously the same kind of thing that she just decimated, but what actually was it? Did the thing have a kid or is this just a miniature version of what she fought? The turtle cocked its head just like the big one had, regarding her with the same kind of curiosity.

Tatsumaki didn't know what she should do. She could just smash this thing to bits, but that felt kinda wrong seeing as it was so tiny and helpless. And even when it was gargantuan and she was attacking it, the turtle really didn't even look like it was gonna try to hurt her. She also knew that it probably wouldn't be wise to just leave something like this lying around out here, just because it looks harmless doesn't mean it is. Deciding that it was the obvious choice, Tatsumaki brought the baby turtle to her hand and held it as she flew back to HQ to tell her them not to send her on such an unbelievably dull mission again.

—

Saitama was unpacking the groceries he bought for the next few days in his kitchen, placing the milk and eggs he got for an absolute steal in the fridge and opening the snack bag of chips he got for himself. He walked over to his couch and flopped down onto it stomach down, grabbing the remote off of the floor and turning on the TV. He flipped through the channels before he found some action show and quietly munched on his chips as he watched. A few minutes passed before Genos opened the door to the apartment and entered, carrying a little brown paper bag.

"How was the meeting?"

"Boring as usual, master. It was about behavioral problems in S-rank heroes, and since I wasn't in trouble me being there was more of a formality. But..."

The paper bag went sailing through the air, and Saitama caught it without taking his gaze off of the screen.

"They had some free cookies out today. Some staff member's birthday."

"Hehehe, more like my birthday, eh?" Saitama said, sitting up and opening the bag excitedly. Taking one out and immediately biting half of it off, Saitama was surprised with how good it actually was. Tastes homemade instead of some cheap supermarket ones.

"mm.. theshe thingsre good geenos, do ya know who made 'em? Gonna have to mug em for the reshipie."

"No, I don't, and I hardly think that appropriate action to get a recipe from someone. Just ask next time you go to the Hero Association."

"Aah, whatever. Thershe plenty enough as it is."

Genos sat down next to Saitama on the couch, leaning into the corner and relaxing for the first time that day.

"Man, those meetings can even make you tired, huh? Glad I don't have to go to 'em like the lowly B-rank I am."

"Please do not refer to yourself as lowly, master."

"Yea, whatever. I dunno how you people can deal with all that stuff in the higher ranks. I'd die if I had to go to half the meetings you do Genos. No idea how some of the hotheads can deal with that. Does the little green girl whine the whole time?"

"Tatsumaki has a habit of being unavailable during meetings at the Hero Association."

"Ah. Probably why you had a meeting about behavior and all. Well, not surprised."

Saitama pivoted on the couch and laid down on his back, resting his head on the arm rest of the couch and his legs on Genos' lap. He stretched, letting out a yawn and smacking his lips.

"I'm probably gonna hit the hay soon, sleepy day."

"Please take out the garbage before you retire for the might, master."

"Ahh, cmon Genos, can't you do me a favor?"

"I've done you a favor for the past two nights."

"...Fine."

Saitama sat up and grumbled all the way to the trash can and out the door, vaguely muttering something about ungrateful apprentices and a master's privilege. He was tossing the trash bag in the dumpster when he looked up and saw a glowing green something flying through the sky.

Tatsumaki could hardly stay in her seat through the whole meeting about some stupid 'behavioral issues.' It was a complete waste of time in her eyes, it's not like anythings gonna change anyways. Every S-rank hero is more stubborn than a mule and she could tell everyone there except for maybe Genos had completely tuned it all out. She did still have the little turtle though, and it sat surprisingly docile in her lap the entire meeting. It was on her back now as she flew through the air, occasionally turning around in place and looking around at the new environment it was in. Tatsumaki couldn't help but think it was cute, in a rocky sorta way. She didn't know is she was going to keep it or what, but she'd decided against her original plan of handing it over to some scientists somewhere. She was thinking about what to do when she heard some kind of impact to her left, and looked over to where the sound came from.

What she saw was a face about two inches from hers.

"Boo."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"

Tatsumaki tried to stop immediately, tumbling over in the air twice before forcibly correcting herself. When she saw the turtle rock on her back had flew off in front of her she used her telekinesis to catch it before it got too far away. Turning back to where the person was she saw a bald man in a hoodie on the ground laughing himself silly. Livid, she used her powers to hoist the whelp off the ground and dragged him to her, hearing his gasp of surprise as he was lifted off the ground and spun to face her. When she got a good look at his face, Tatsumaki realized that she was holding that bald hero wannabe Genos calls master. He looked at her deadpan and held up his hand in greeting.

"Yo."

Saitama was then lovingly introduced to the pavement in a way that would have left anybody else looking like they had french kissed a blender. Just to get the point across, Tatsumaki picked him up and threw him down a few more times to make sure she got through that thick skull of his. Dragging him back up to her level, she was surprised when he raised his hand up again and smiled.

"Man, you sure do know how to introduce yourself, huh?"

"S-Shut up, bald ass! You're the one who started it!"

Saitama scratched his chin.

"Yea, guess I did didn't I? Well, sorry about that I guess."

Tatsumaki sent him flying down into the now largely destroyed sidewalk again, then brought him back up and stared at him with her arms crossed.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry, my bad. I won't do it again."

Saitama brushed the dirt and rocks off of the top of his head and shirt before he noticed something else was floating a few feet behind Tatsumaki.

"Hey, what's thatcha got there?"

Tatsumaki turned her head and brought the turtle back to her hands.

"None of your business, baldy."

"Cmon don't be that wayy, it looks kinda cool."

"I said, none of your damn business."

"Yeesh, fine, I was just curious. So you gonna let me down now or what?"

Tatsumaki then smashed his face into the sidewalk that would now need a rather major repair job to be usable again.

"There, I let you down. You wanna go again?"

"Come on, that's really getting old. I apologized and everything!"

"I guess I'm just bored then."

"Could your entertainment please not involve my face in a shotgun wedding with the pavement?"

Tatsumaki sent him flying into a nearby telephone pole, whipping his body around and slamming his face against the steel. He was clutching his nose when she brought him back to her.

"Now you're just being mean, all I did was give you a little surprise, not assault you or anything!"

"If you had tried to then I wouldn't be able to hold this conversation with a red stain on the pavement."

"Alright, whatever, just put me down already. Genos is probably wondering where I am and why there are incredibly loud noises outside this late at night."

Tatsumaki released the telekinesis holding Saitama in the air and crossed her arms as he fell down to the ground. But as soon as Saitama reached the road, he immediately sprang back up into the air and appeared behind Tatsumaki. She hadn't even realized he jumped before she felt his arms wrapping around her from behind in an inescapable bear hug. She struggled and kicked against his vice grip on her, but he didn't budge an inch. As he started dragging her down to earth with her, she tried using her powers to pry him off but found him utterly immovable somehow. No matter how much she tried to make him arms open or even to crush his arms or legs, simply nothing happened. She only had a few more seconds left to be confused before they both crashed into the sidewalk.

—

Genos was about to head out to check on Saitama when he heard footsteps coming down the hall outside. He sat back down on the couch and continued to watch what was on the TV as the door opened, uninterestedly laying back on the couch and speaking to Saitama without looking at him.

"What took so long, master?"

"Uhm, about that."

Genos looked over at Saitama in the doorway and froze. Saitama was covered head to toe in dirt and pebbles, and slung over his shoulder was an unconscious Tornado of Terror. Genos just stared at Saitama for a moment while he nervously scratched the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly.

"Master."

"Yes, Genos."

"Why have you brought this upon us."


End file.
